I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
