i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize