I need help removing her.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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