summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
tell me about the fingering
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