It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
