you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
