She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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