Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize