Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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