North Korea, Best Korea!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
