He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
