Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
