i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
