i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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