how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I will be naked everywhere
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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