Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
