can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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