On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
