From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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