jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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