I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
