she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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