No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
