i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
did i walk over a car last night?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
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Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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