There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
