we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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