that's an acceptable place to lick
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
50% drunk capacity currently
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
