Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I could fuck to npr.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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