My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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