well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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