Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish you could order shots online.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
