in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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