im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Randomize
