Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
