You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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