went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
