Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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