Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
