So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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