When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Please, let me fuck your mom
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
