I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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