I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
