yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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