He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
