If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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