How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
