i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
