Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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