New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
