P.S. I can't hear my feet
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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