What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
