is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
