Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
