We're facebook friends in real life
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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