I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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