I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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