dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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