Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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