So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
how drunk are you?
Several
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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