i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
