real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
