Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
