I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
