So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
