i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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