it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I bet he comes in French.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
